There’s nothing you can do about those
things — which makes it especially important to get a grip on factors
you can control, the self-inflicted catastrophes that are avoidable with
a little sensitivity and awareness.
Here are eight dumb things to avoid like the plague:
1. Waiting and waiting and…:
Write this down: There’s no such thing as a perfect man or woman. While
you wait for one to appear, lots of people cross your path with whom
you could have a perfectly good time — and maybe even fall for.
2. Texting at the table:
Imagine you’re looking forward to dinner alone with someone you find
attractive. You show up at the agreed upon time, and he or she has
invited 12 others to join you — parents, siblings, coworkers — and given
them permission to interrupt your conversation at any time. Ridiculous,
right? Put. The phone. Down.
3. Flirting with the waiter/waitress:
If you’re in the market for romance, it’s natural to have your antennae
up and alert for possibilities wherever you go. But when on a date,
turn off the radar and focus your undivided attention on the person —
and potential partner — right in front of you.
4. Taking “casual” too far:
It’s probably a good thing that society has eased up on the strict
formalities of dating when our great-grandparents were young. But
relaxed standards are no excuse for laziness. Don’t just “hang out.” Use
your imagination to plan something fun and different. Don’t dress like
you just came from the gym — put some effort into looking (and feeling)
sharp.
5. Ignoring common courtesy:
Some of those “antiquated” rules for dating, however, deserve a second
look. In rejecting concepts like “chivalry” and “decency,” we’ve robbed
ourselves of potent romantic opportunity. Discover for yourself how
attractive old-fashioned good manners can be.
6. Talking more than you listen:
Some people treat a date as an opportunity to reveal — in great detail —
how fascinating they are. Make it your mission to do the opposite, to
discover your date’s hidden dreams, talents, and goals. Give them the
gift of being the fascinating one for a change — and they’ll remember
you for it.
7. Breaking the (dating) speed limit:
While it’s possible to cause problems by going too slow, the most
dramatic crashes happen because you’ve hit the gas too hard, too soon.
That’s when you’re most likely to confuse sexual sizzle with true love,
or to ignore warning signs that the road ahead may not be as smooth as
you hoped. Slow down and (safely) enjoy the journey.
8. Getting too personal, too soon:
In most cases, the person you are dating is — or was until recently — a
complete stranger to you. They don’t need to know your secrets,
phobias, childhood traumas, medical issues, and most embarrassing
moments right out of the gate. Establish trust before you open up about
everything.
